How to move on after feeling betrayed.

I come from a large extended family. We have our ups and our downs. We have our stabs in the back and our conversations about each other...amongst each other. We all each known for our own individual personalities. We have the untactful one, the control freak, the hen, the baby, self-centered, the mood swinger, the "my-problem-is-worst-then-yours". Some of use hold two titles. We all talk about each other behind our backs and we all have our own expression of what we dont like about each other. At the end...we still all love each other and have one another's back. I know it sounds crazy, but we are all still family. I think every family does it. I am just putting mine out there.

Me, I am the untactful one. I am the one that will tell you straight to your face what I think. Not to intentionally hurt anyone's feelings. I think I was just not born with that filter; the one that pops up in your head to tell you to stop, think about what you are about to say and tone it down. With all that said, I tell you what is on my mind...I dont do it behind your back. You pretty much always know what is on my mind. I have gotten better. My aunt, she is the baby and she is the center of attention.

I had an aunt that was born with a disability; a majority of everyone in the family has taken a section in thier life to take care of her. I think I was the one with the longest streak. I was also one of the last ones to do it. After my grandmother went in the nursing home, I finished off the payments of her home and continued to live in it. She had let everyone know that it was her wish for me to be the person to remain in the home. I am not the cleanest person. I have a very small 3 bedroom house that at times six people live in it. My husband, our two little ones, his two teenagers and myself. There is not a place for everything. Things dont get fixed like they need to. I dont keep up with it like it needs to be. It isnt easy for me to do everything I need to do and be able to keep everything in order by myself. I am the one that stays home and does 95% of the things that need to be done. My husband works. Well....my husband and I were having problems in our relationship. He proceeded to let me know that he and my aunt....aka the baby; had a conversation on how she is upset with how I destroyed her mother's house. I felt so betrayed.

FIRST, I thought that your husband was suppose to have your back. I thought it was suppose to be that against the world, your husband had your hand to help you get through it. My aunt, we have closeness like best friends and sisters. To know that she is talking mess behind my back. Like throwing me under the bus. She didnt come to me about it. She would make comments to me about how I dont keep my house uncluttered. As time went on I found out that she was talking both sides of me and my husband. Telling him what he wanted to hear and making comments to me about how she didnt like the way he treated me. OK! So are you just trying to play both sides? At this point it has been 11 days since I have talked to her. It may not seem like alot, on a normal basis we talk at least twice a day. She basically put me out there. Made me feel like I have to get everyone's approval for the way I live my life. She made me feel like even though she doesnt like the way this person does this or this person does that, I am the one she feels like she has to talk trash about to my own husband. I dont put her on blast. I dont go to the people she talks about in the family and call her out like that. She has plenty to say about everything. I hear about all of it. I dont go running and telling everyone what she says.

I am not one to hold a grudge. I am not one to dwell on the past. I am pretty good at getting it off my chest and moving forward. I just cant seem to shake this lose. The problem is I dont even think she knows who told me. She has talked so much trash about me behind my back I think she forgot who she told what to. Now I am the only person in the family that talked to her on a regular basis. I dont even know how to move on from here. What am I suppose to do....text her a picture everyday and ask her if my house is clean enough for her. Just because the house belonged to my grandmother am I suppose to get everyone's A'Ok. Yeah she told my husband I was destroying her mother's house. Where did she say to him that he isnt doing his part to fix things that get broken. I guess that is my job too?

Needless to say I dont feel betrayed by one single person. I feel betrayed by the two closest people in my life. How do you move on from this? How do you find that comfort in your heart? I am a work in progress just like most people. I know what alot of my faults are. I wasnt approached in a positive manner. I was approached in a manner of "you do this wrong so therefor I am done". No one is perfect, yet I have two people with just as many imperfections telling me what I have to change and neither one of them owning up to what they need to change in thier own lives. So I am suppose to be perfect? I am the only that needs to change? Were is that fair?